Some guide to dating sites has made it possible for relations to blossom via internet platforms, introducing an entirely different approach to the concept of falling in love as well as breaking up. Incidentally, while falling in love is one of the greatest experiences for persons involved, breaking up defines a heart-breaking moment that neither you nor your date would ever remember fondly. However, if you’ve been dating online for a while but for some reasons it becomes necessary to end things, learning how to break up with grace and etiquette can help protect you and the person you’re leaving from suffering more pain than already unnecessary.
Don’t Try The Disappearing Act
You want to break up and already have your reasons, right? In that case, be brave enough to “face” your date and let him or her know you want out. It’s understandable for you to want to end things quickly and the easy way, especially with no much agony on your part. Well, that’s cowardly and inconsiderate of the person you’re leaving. Thus, don’t cut all online communication and disappear without telling your girlfriend or boyfriend that you’re actually breaking up with them. Contacting someone you want to break up with online will help a great deal when it comes to closure for the both of you.
Choose an Appropriate Platform to Discuss the Break Up
Guide to dating sites offer several tools for communication such as instant messaging (text chat), email, or video chat, which may suit a break up discussion depending on your circumstances. Choose instant messaging to express straight forward intentions as well as receive instant feedback. You may also do it via video chat, if your partner is okay with it, and you’ve got issues with face-to-face break up discussions. Don’t prioritize emailing unless your partner refuses to respond instantly.
Maintain Honesty throughout the Discussion
Being honest while breaking up entails going straight to the point and making it clear to your partner that you want out. Just say, “I’m not into us anymore,” and of course explain it. Don’t fake reasons as to why the relationship didn’t work or try to make it sound like your own fault. Avoid lines such as, “Babe it’s not you, it’s just that, you know I just can’t….” For one, no one believes such an excuse for breaking up. If anything, your partner may figure out you’re just trying to make them feel better, and just fault themselves for not being lovable. Worse still, assuming somebody believed that you actually left them for no fault of their own or for no particular reason; do you know how much that hurts? Do you have an idea of how it feels to be nice and lovable and still get dumped and hurt? Just be honest and tell why the relationship is not working for you, especially if there was something going already.
Be Considerate And Exercise Emotional Intelligence
Breaking up with someone is painful and entails that you be smart enough to know what to say and how to say it right, without “adding insult to injury” and whipping up emotions. You should get to the break up discussion knowing it’s going to be intense, highly emotional and someone is going to get hurt. Also, don’t dwell on your partner’s flaws. Thus, if you’re breaking up because you never felt a “connection”, you can say it without insisting that your partner’s serious flaws ruined the relationship.
A good way to avoid whipping up emotions is to resist being drawn into an extended rational or logical debate about your reasons. Love and relationships are never based on scientific or rational formulas and the same goes for breaking up. Thus, kindly don’t waste time justifying your decision.
Also, choose the high road, when faced with an acrimonious argument that may involve hurling insults or hurtful words at each other. Recognizing the fact that your decision to break up with someone is going to hurt them, calls for a level of restrain on your part, even when you’ve got reason to feel hurt.
Don’t Make it All about You
When breaking up with someone you met online, it’s important for you to appreciate that they have a say and stake in the relationship too. Thus, talk and listen patiently. This should be a discussion that can give your partner a good chance at closure; don’t deny them it by talking continuously or ignoring the things they say and just closing the chat window. Listening will also help you give appropriate responses that conform to your resolve to walk away.
Equally important, put yourself in your partner’s shoes and treat them as you’d want yourself treated by someone leaving you. This will help keep good levels of mutual respect while holding break up discussions.
Be Firm About Your Decision
You suggest breaking up but your online date won’t take it without a fight, what do you do? Don’t be swayed or tricked into postponing the breakup. Stay kind and insist that you can’t be lovers or an item any more. If your partner suggests continued friendship, don’t accept it unless it’s fine with you; they’re likely not ready to let go but giving in on your part will prolong the painful process of breaking up.
One way of staying on course when you want to break up with someone is resisting the urge to be overly affectionate and say sweet things about them. Avoid displays of affection and don’t say more than you need to. The good thing with breaking up using this guide to dating sites is that you’ve got the option of text messaging, which is appropriate when you want to use just a few words to break up with someone.
End It Once And For All
Avoid any form of correspondence especially soon after breaking up, when wounds haven’t healed yet. Say goodbye nicely and move on, resisting attempts to establish contact via email, online chat or phone. If you “un-friend” your ex on Facebook, maintain status quo.
Don’t Feel Too Awful About It
There is nothing great to feel about breaking up with someone, except the hope that it’s for the best interests of the both of you. However, don’t torment yourself for walking out of an unworkable relationship. Likewise, don’t make it seem like it’s more than a date if it’s not. Thus, appreciate the fact that your online relationship was probably based on false hope, fantasy and not real chemistry, physical interaction and accurate knowledge of each other. Chances are that such a relationship was bound to fail and the question was when and not if.
You must also make sure that you are not wasting your time on a fake site. You can spot fake sites and people on online dating sites. Learn how to Spot Scammers Quickly: Learn How Scammer Operate On Dating Sites. You can use this guide to dating sites for finding the right person with whom you can have a long term relationship. While it’s awesome to find love or other forms of relations via guide to dating sites, breaking up the same way can take a heavy toll on the feelings of the persons involved. Yet, sometimes thing just don’t work out as expected and you find yourself having to confront someone you’ve had wonderful times with online and tell them you want out. The good thing is that you can handle a break up with such a person amicably and cause them as little emotional turmoil as possible. If you approach breaking up online with the etiquette and grace it deserves, you too can walk out of the relationship feeling much better.